Category Archives: Grant

Posts by Grant Pardee

Other Things That “Grandfathered In” Could Mean

Grandpa parallel parked the car…GRANDFATHERED IN!

Grandpa threw a touchdown pass…GRANDFATHERED IN!

Grandpa got the eight ball in the corner pocket…GRANDFATHERED IN!

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a Valentine’s Prayer from Bono

My name is Bono. I am not a person pretending to be Bono. I have no last name and no origin. I have no past and no future. There is no beginning to Bono and no end to Bono. Bono just is. Oh, and Bono is very, very horny for you.

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The Bonus Coldplay(er)


Nicknames For Sex I Think They Probably Used In The Twenties

Lindberghin’ It

Al Ca-Bonin’

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Potential Characters Mike Myers Could Play in “Austin Powers 4”

The Guy with a Scottish Accent

The Guy with a Scottish Accent who Farts

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Living in a Post-Apocalyptic World

by Andrew Dice Clay

January 29th, 2013

Hickory dickory dock. I survived the apocalypse today, suck my cock.

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You’ll Need That Hair for Frosting

May 2002.

Product in hair, mic in hand, Brian Dunkleman and his co-host Ryan Seacrest stand before the thousands in the audience and the millions watching on television, prepared to announce your first ever American Idol.

Dunkleman in particular is pleased about this, though no one knows it yet, because Dunkleman knows that once the winner is announced, he’s getting the hell out of here. And you can kiss his ass, because you ain’t ever gonna see the Dunk Man again.

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