I’m being haunted by a beautiful, busty blonde

Hello. Emily here. This is Emily, not a character. I need to share something with you, dear readers.

I am being haunted. I think that I am being haunted by the late great Anna Nicole Smith (RIP.)

Let me explain a little bit. I’m a pretty big Anna fan. So, I assume you’d think it was ridiculous that she would just start haunting me, a big fan. I guess I should clarify. I don’t think this is a menacing haunting. I think that Anna is watching over me. Why wouldn’t she? I just moved to this big city, and I’m practically on my own. She understands, when she was about my age, she moved to the big city, too. It’s a scary place! Anna knows that I loved her, Anna knows that I named my beautiful beta fish after her. Anna knows how upset I was when my fish was stolen and held for ransom. And she knows of my heartbreak after her death.

Anyway, why do I think that Anna is watching over me? It’s pretty simple. Since her death, I have seen two (2) Anna-related semi-celebs.

  1. Larry Birkhead, babydaddy of Anna Nicole’s daughter, Dannielynn. Megan, Amy, and I saw Larry at a Mexican restaurant somewhere in the Valley in June 2007. He sat at the table next to us, and avoided eye contact after Megan recognized him, pointed him out, and I couldn’t stop giggling. That night, the Cleveland Cavaliers lost to the Detroit Pistons in the playoffs. I do not consider these two events to be connected.
  2. Bobby Trendy, Anna Nicole’s interior designer, and eventually her nemesis in season one of The Anne Nicole Show. Today I spotted Bobby on the third floor of the Barnes and Noble at The Grove. He was hardly looking as “luxurious” as he usually does, but can you blame a guy? He was just checking out the local B&N. Anyway, we made eye contact, which I held until he he looked away. At that point, I quickly admired his lip color, and then ducked down the next aisle.

Now, knowing the chronicles of Anna, these two characters are arguably trouble makers in the bombshell’s life. It’s a little puzzling why Anna would send these two as signs that she’s looking out for me, but let’s be honest here: it’s not like they are really up to anything. Some of Anna’s other friends (Kathy Griffith, Margaret Cho, hell, even Cousin Shelley) are just a little too busy to start showing up in my life. And I understand that.

But listen, thank you, Anna. I appreciate what you are doing for me. You’re the best.

anna-nicole-smith-supreme-court1-707101

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One response to “I’m being haunted by a beautiful, busty blonde

  1. “Larry Birkhead, babydaddy of Anna Nicole’s daughter, Dannielynn. Megan, Amy, and I saw Larry at a Mexican restaurant somewhere in the Valley in June 2007. He sat at the table next to us, and avoided eye contact after Megan recognized him, pointed him out, and I couldn’t stop giggling. That night, the Cleveland Cavaliers lost to the Detroit Pistons in the playoffs. I do not consider these two events to be connected.”

    This paragraph makes me so happy. Thank you.

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